We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!

Disclosure: As a reminder I don't go back and correct any mental errors while writing because that is true to how my brain works with living with epilepsy. In order to understand this by someone just joining, one example at times I might speak a seteances out ouf order, or repeat them, spelling.

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If you aren't familiar with our journey and others are also included since the start og MyGlitch began, I encourage you to do so that you understand what all has been our family journey. This way you understand this entry better.

Truth be told, this blog entry has been attempted a few times prior to September 5th. Been a rough few weeks, seizures happen, then you have to recover from them just like life does and you make priorities where needed.

Celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary on September 5th

Hard to believe Brent and I have been married for this long, definitely makes us feel old but I am extremely blessed he has stuck by my side. To think we have lived in Fargo, ND, Moorhead, MN, Lexington, KY, Richmond KY, and now in Pace, FL. Slowly went from the Bison frozen tundra, horse country & now Palm tress hot sauna LOL. Not sure if we could handle snow storms with below zero temps again, but then again having severe storms/hurricanes....so take your pick.

(Not going to talk about the boys this time. I ask that you go back and read the past 2 entries to learn updates on the boys, Mayo and the entire family)

When you get married and say your vows, you truly don't think you will have your lives completely changed.

Both of us living a healthy lifestyles while both working in those exact arenas too. I never would have thought I would be diagnosed years later with epilepsy.

The week of our annivseray I was having a very rough week, and so the planned weekend activities had to be cancelled. When you have epilepsy and seizures happen, you need to have a loved such as I do that will stick by you, no matter the occasion that may not happen. Along with living with uncontrolled epilepsy I am currently dealing with adjusting to full blown menopause(these hot flashes are no joke!) where they have added a Combipatch to be worn and we believe it might be interacting potentially with my seizure meds. Too early to tell yet, but it does seem to be worse lately. Could be a coindence as my seizures are uncontrolled and there are weeks that am all good and others like the past couple weeks I am not.

So the day of the 5th, I pretty much just rested all day because I was determined to be able to at least do something to celebrate our anniversary. Brent had already asked off for our special day, so guilt was setting in on me and he knows it only makes my anxiety levels higher and bring potentially mor seizures on. So he made sure I knew it wasn't a big deal, even if we just spent time together at home, I know some say well it isn't a "significent" anniversary, but with living with any chronic illness every day is something to treasure.

A beautiful evening at the beach enjoying our 22nd anniversary

Brent managed to keep me resting and not doing anything but relax all day(if you know me at all that is not an easy task) We were able to enjoy an evening out. We went out for an early dinner to a restauraubt on the beach in Pensacola. Nothing fancy, but we were able to sit outside hear and see the beautiful beach waves. We had a geat waitress, who made it that much more enjoyable. She even convinced us to try this desert called death by chocalate, even this chocalte lover couldn't finish. I think we could of had that just for dinner cause it was definelty not made for just 2 people:) Now the funnier part is with my new lack there of memory, I didn't remember we had even eaten at this place before. Now please don't think I am making fun of this, but we need to learn to laugh at things out of our control and enjoy the moments. As Brent says now he can take me almost anywhere and sometimes i have no idea and others it is odd what I do remember. That's the brain of someone living with uncontrolled epilepsy for as long as I have.

After dinner we drove further down to a quieter beach area where we could lay on the beach, enjoy my happy place of listening to the waves, and watch the sunset. It was beautiful and just what we needed some time to just enjoy each other and try not to worry about what mght happen.

You might be saying to yourself right now, so why are sharing all of this with everyone? It's not your typical entry.

Glad you asked. Now Brent and I do not brodcast to people we don't know out in public about me having epilepsy. Truly noone would eveer know unless I have a seizure thre at that moment. then we would answer any questions they might ask. You see I don't have convulsive seizyres, I have many types but that is not one of them. This is why we advocate and share our story because many people living with epilepsy are not the kind shown in movies. We want to show people you can live a GREAT life even with uncontrolled epilepsy, you just have to be willing that things happen and you just adjust when/where needed. Yes, am I hard on myself of course I am. That's where Brent reassures me and reminds I /we did not chose or can I control what happens day to day.

I am in various epilepsy support groups, most online due to not being able to drive and unfortunately they do not have a safe transportation for me to attend in person. The online ones I have made some great "online" friends but nothing is as good as experiencing in person support. I also have what I call my daily text/call check in friends:)

I have also learned is that many others do not have the support I have, and many end up divorced, and or lose friends/family.

This is another area I am blessed by Brent by my side. He does everything in his power to be able to take me to a local one here in person. He leaves work, come pick me up, take me to a hour support group, bring me back home and back to work he goes. This is where we need to also be upfront with his bosses, and staff in order for him to even provide me with all this support. Especially now with the boys no longer home to help out.

I want all of you after you read this to tell your loved ones, family, friends, pets

and whomever you treasure in your life

to tell them daily you care, appreciate or love them.

I of course love hugs, but not everyone is like that:)

I hope you enjoy the sight and sounds of the beach as we do.